Excerpt #2 from novel-in-progress

Here’s another bit of that novel I’m working on right now. Hope you dig it. If you do, drop a few bucks to me via Paypal for my Holiday Toy Drive for Needy Kids. Info here: Jon’s Kick Ass Wicked Pissah Holiday Toy Drive

Chapter Two

New York City, One Week Later

      Through the foggy aftermath of another gin-soaked night of binging, the clock radio’s incessant alarm needled its way into Quinn’s molten dream world of warped faces, empty eyes, and soundless screams. He came awake arms flailing and fighting the invisible intruders. Finally, one of his hands slammed down on the snooze bar and the white noise of a New York morning reclaimed the air. Quinn’s eyes closed again, but sleep had already deserted him. He took stock. Wet. Cold. Clammy. Whatever he’d drunk last night had spilled out of him – sweated out through pores Quinn figured must have been the size of silver dollars to soak the sheets so.
      He stank.
      Before he’d kicked the butts to the curb, Quinn’s morning aroma had resembled the stench of a two-week corpse left rotting in the humid sun of an equatorial afternoon. Now, he only had the booze to contend with.
      One of these days he’d make it a banner year and give up drinking all together. One of these days. He smirked. It wouldn’t be any time soon. Not unless he could figure out some other vice to keep the demons at bay. Drugs were out. Sex was too risky unless he could find a partner who had the same raging libido he did. So far, no luck. And masturbating didn’t thrill him the way it had back when he was a fourteen year-old kid jerking off watching the leotard-clad dancers on Solid Gold.
      His hand slapped down on the snooze bar again, cutting off the alarm before it had a chance of destroying the relative calm of the morning.
      He eased himself into an upright position slowly. No sense puking first thing in the morning and dehydrating himself even more than he already was. His legs emerged from the tangled sheets and slid over the edge of the bed, feet reaching for the cold wooden floor.
      Standing now, he felt like too much liquid still sloshed against his insides. Maybe his kidneys and liver needed an overhaul. Or maybe he should just stop drinking once and for all.
      Yeah. Sure.
      Quinn knew he was unlike a lot of other alcoholics. He had a drinking problem. A big one. He knew this. And he admitted it, if only to himself. No sense denying it, he mused. Not when it absorbed so much of who he was.
      He could focus himself if he needed to, especially if it was for work. He liked working. He craved work almost as much as he craved the booze.
      But work had been absent lately. Nothing much came by way of his email. Nothing popped up on the various bulletin boards he frequented. No new messages teased him from his voicemail. It was as if the world had moved on and forgotten there had once been such a person as Quinn Daniels.
      He hadn’t been famous because fame was what he’d been taught to avoid. He hadn’t been wealthy because money never stayed with him long enough to grow.
      But Quinn once had power.
      Power over himself was what they’d taught him. Being able to see the challenges and meet them head-on. Conquer them or devise a way to bypass them in such a way that the ultimate goal was never compromised. Once he’d learned their lessons, there seemed nothing he couldn’t succeed at once he put his mind to it.
      He sat down on the toilet and let his bladder empty. No way did he trust himself to be able to stand during the five-minute piss. He was far enough along in his alcohol abuse to know what his limits were and where his weaknesses lay. Standing with one arm holding him up seemed absurd when he could just sit down and relax.
      He could feel the need to move his bowels. But not just yet. He’d get some breakfast and orange juice into his system before he had what he affectionately called his “PDD” – “post-drunk-dump.”
      Quinn flushed the toilet and padded out to his kitchen. The condo he owned sat on the Upper East Side, paid for several years back after he’d come back from a close-protection job in Egypt. He’d put a substantial down-payment on the place, but he still had a mortgage.
      Out of the refrigerator, he took the big jug of Tropicana orange juice, tilted it and his head back and drank it down deep. He took out the eggs and ham, set them cooking in the griddle and at the last moment, plopped two slices of American cheese onto the ham, waited a minute for it to start to melt and slid the whole concoction onto a plate. He mixed everything up until the runny yolk, melted cheese and ham were all combined. Then he sat down, flipped on the television and started eating.
      Vapid morning shows.
      He’d never understand why so many people felt a need to show up outside of a television studio and hold up a sign while the camera whizzed past them. Were they thinking this was their fifteen minutes of fame? Was this what they’d dreamed of? Being pandered to by some half-assed moronic host while they spoke about their anniversary or how today was the first day they’d managed to walk and breathe at the same time?
      He flipped the channel to The Military Channel and caught a special on Pararescuemen – one of the United States Air Force special operations units that never got much in the way of publicity. He smirked. He knew the feeling. And more, he respected the Air Force for keeping its secret units out of the media as much as possible.
      Quinn’s doorbell buzzed. He frowned. He wasn’t expecting anyone this morning. Hell, no one ever usually showed up at his door. He didn’t have any family. No relatives.
      He picked up the intercom receiver. “Yeah?”
      “Mr. Quinn?”
      Jimmy the doorman from downstairs who never used Quinn’s last name. “Yeah, Jimmy?”
      “Got a woman here says she knows you.”
      “Got a badge, too.”
      “Uh huh.”
      “She got a nasty manner about her?”
      “My dreams have been answered. Send her up.”
      “Thank you, sir.”
      Quinn replaced the receiver and went to his front door and unlocked it. Then he went back to the kitchen, sat down, and ate some more of his breakfast. As he ate, he slowed his breathing until he could feel the minute shifts in the air of his apartment. He waited and then turned at just the right moment.
      Deb stood in the doorway of the kitchen, her Beretta aimed at Quinn’s head. She wore a smile and her eyes gleamed. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t just kill you now.”
      “My sparkling personality?”
      “You lost any trace of that years ago.”
      Quinn shrugged. “I’m pretty good in the sack.”
      Deb lowered her gun. “Only if you haven’t been drinking. Otherwise you can’t get off at all. Stiff as hell, yeah, but there’s no end.”
      “Some women, they wouldn’t complain about that.”
      “Only the ones who have 30-second blitzkrieg fucks. Anything beyond two minutes is sheer bliss for them.”
      “But not you.”
      Deb came over to the table and sat down. “You ever had a piece of wood jammed up your ass for three hours?”
      “Well, there was that Iraqi incident. But no wood was involved.”
      She eyed him. “You lying again or is that a real war story?”
      “My secret.”
      “Well, Mr. Secretive, trust me – you don’t want to be pumped for three hours and have no spectacular finish. Even the horniest of us will get dry by the end of the first hour.”
      “Great visual.” Quinn finished his orange juice. “So, my dear, what brings you around this morning.”
      “It’s almost noon, Quinn.”
      “Morning being the relative term, then.”
      Deb slid her gun back into her holster. “You working on anything right now?”
      “I was giving serious consideration to trying to bed you for three hours.”
      “Yeah, I wore the skirt just for you.”
      “How do you run in that thing?”
      “I don’t. I got a perp, I use my feminine wiles to get them to stop and then I shoot them if they run.”
      Quinn smiled. Deb’s short brown hair and bright blue eyes would make any man stop. He’d seen her in action enough times to know. There were very few men who wouldn’t pause if she gave them one of her come-hither looks. Quinn had been on the receiving end of enough of them.
      “I think the National Organization for Women might like a word with you over that rather antiquated sentiment.”
      “Fuck them.”
      “No thanks.”
      “You never answered my question.”
      “About work? I’ve got a meeting scheduled for later this week. Nothing on right now.”
      “You want something?”
      “Why not?”
      Deb leaned closer until her face was only about six inches from Quinn’s. “There is one thing, though.”
      Quinn leaned closer. “Oh?”
      Deb frowned and pulled back. “You got to lay off the sauce until it’s done.”
      “I have been.”
      “Don’t bullshit me. You drank last night. I can smell it on you.”
      “Well, I haven’t showered yet. And you know how beer is.”
      “Quinn, you don’t drink beer.”
      “Maybe I’ve started.”
      Deb stood. “You see? This is why we never worked as a couple. All the lies. It’s like you don’t think of anyone as being smart enough to know that you’ve got yourself a real problem.”
      Quinn sighed. People had the kind of emotional baggage I’ve got, it’d be wonder if they didn’t have a problem, themselves. “All right, I had something to drink.”
      “I need you sober on this.”
      “What’s the job?”
      She looked him over again and Quinn knew she was trying to decide if she should even bother. After a moment, she sighed. “Obviously it’s not something the department can handle…properly.”
      “So a gorgeous homicide detective for the New York City police department comes to a washed up old soldier with her unorthodox problem.”
      “You old now?”
      “Feels like it.”
      “Then some action might just be the Fountain of Youth for you.”
      Quinn licked his lips. “What’s the scoop?”
      “You’re eating-“ Deb studied his plate. “…something.”
      “It’s that bad?”
      She slid an envelope on the table. “Knowing you, you’ve seen worse. I would have waited if I’d known you were eating and all.”
      “My fault for getting up late.” He opened the envelope and two photographs slid out onto the table. Black and white and grainy. It took Quinn a moment to figure out what he was looking at.
      “Am I seeing that right?”
      Deb’s painted fingers pointed at the top picture. “We found him earlier this week. He was the first.”
      “And this guy?”
      “Last night near as we can place time of death. A little old lady found him this morning while she was out walking her Pekinese.”
      “Yeah. I would have figured her for a pug.”
      “You know who they are?”
      Deb nodded. “First guy is Antonio Delineo. Worked for the Campanella family out of Brooklyn up until six months ago when he got bored killing people for them. He went out on his own with the family’s blessings.”
      Quinn looked at the picture. “Maybe they were happy to be rid of him.”
      “Probably. His specialty was using a rock hammer on skulls.”
      “And not exactly keeping with the Mafia’s attempts at a new and legitimate persona.” She pointed at the picture. “Someone did him, though.”
      “An old victim?”
      Deb looked at him. “All his old victims are in the ground somewhere.”
      “Friend or relative of a deceased?”
      “Doubtful. Look at the size of him. Pretty damned intimidating even for the most outraged soul.”
      “So, what was he working on when he got tipped?”
      “Protection work for Frankie the Seal.”
      Quinn whistled. “Ah.” Frankie the Seal, so named because of his incredible ability to skirt the law and never end of in jail. Frankie peddled young girls to anyone who wanted them, usually charging an incredible amount of money for looking the other way. His whores usually ended up dead, scarred, or deranged forever. It made Quinn wonder why anyone would ever choose to work for him.
      “Guess he kinda failed, huh?”
      “Looks that way.”
      Quinn stared at the picture again. Antonio’s face and skin were withered beyond his years and completely white. His lips were drawn back in abject terror, eyes popped out of their sockets, dangling by their optic nerves like a bad cartoon.
      Deb flipped the photos. “And this is Frankie.”
      Quinn’s eyebrows waggled some. He looked at the second picture. “Can’t even recognize him.”
      “Yeah. The damage on him seems worse than on Antonio.”
      “If that’s possible.”
      Frankie’s face was even more withered and pale than his protector. By the look of it, Frankie’s eyeballs had exploded. A mess of dark goo coated his cheeks and ran down into his neck and shirt. His hands had formed claws, frozen in rigor mortis like an extra from a George Romero flick.
      “Any idea what did this?”
      Deb took the pictures back. “You’ve used some special weaponry before. Those black bag jobs you used to do.”
      “Don’t be coy. This isn’t the time.”
      Quinn shook his head. “Never seen anything like this. I don’t even know what could make an eyeball explode that way, short of being shot.”
      “No bullet wounds anywhere. The ME is mighty annoyed these stiffs defy conventional wisdom.”
      “And you want me to figure out what did this?”
      He looked at her. “Why care at all? Someone’s obviously taking out some of the city’s most deserving scumbags. Seems to me like a good idea.”
      “Yeah, well, the vigilante side of me agrees. But the ‘sworn to protect’ side of me – and it’s a bigger side – knows we’ve got to stop this person. But first we need to find out why.”
      “So you come to me.”
      Quinn drank some more juice. “It’s a bad world out there.”
      “I can pay you.”
      He glanced at her. “Oh, I’m not worried about that. I know you’ve got my bank account numbers from the last time.”
      “I need you on this, Quinn. Before someone else gets killed. It’s obvious we’re dealing with something…unusual here.”
      “You know, I don’t exactly relish the thought of my eyeballs exploding.”
      “Why would you? What with being so busy trying to make your liver explode instead.”
      “You’re not playing nice this morning.”
      Deb kissed him lightly on the lips. “You’re concerned about your eyeballs? So watch your back.” She stood and walked to the door. “Call me when you have something.”
      He watched her go and stared back down at the table where the photos had been. He could still see the images staring back up at him. His stomach rumbled. His tongue felt thick.
      He needed a drink.

© 2008 Jon F. Merz      All rights reserved.

Donate to My Toy Drive & Win a Trip to the Set of THE FIXER!

First a quick word of thanks to all of you who have joined Jon’s Kick Ass Wicked Pissah Holiday Toy Drive for Kids (http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=37824219123). It’s great to see so many of you out there already and we’re only one day into this…

As you know, every dollar counts in this season of economic hardship. I don’t want a single child to go without the joy of receiving a gift this year and I’m serious about raising as much money as humanly possible.

So here’s the poop: for every dollar you donate through the group page – whether through Paypal or by mail – you get one chance to win a trip to the set of THE FIXER, the new TV series my buddy Jaime and I are producing through our company New Ronin Productions. So, kick in $10 bucks and you get ten chances. $25 gets you 25 chances and so on. (People who have already donated are automatically entered to win…)

You don’t have to be a US citizen. We’ll fly you in from anywhere and you’ll get to visit the set of THE FIXER. We’ll put you up in one of Boston’s best hotels and you’ll get to have dinner with the cast and crew. We’ll make sure to load you down with tons of swag from the set as well, including a copy of the script of the episode we’re filming at the time signed by everyone on the cast. You will have a helluva fun time.

So take a moment and donate. You can Paypal your donation direct to me at jonfmerz@verizon.net or mail it to me at the following address:

222 Causeway Street
Medfield, MA 02052 USA

Make checks payable to me since this isn’t something too formal, just my annual drive to try and help out.

I’d also appreciate it if you could help spread the word about what I’m doing. Tell your friends and get them to join us. The more people involved, the better. And with a shot at winning a trip to visit the set of THE FIXER, it just makes it all the better.

Thanks for your time and generosity!

Writing Updates

It’s been a while since I posted news about what I’m working on, so here’s a brief recap:

1. I have one more Rogue Angel novel to complete and then I think that will be that. I will have written eight novels for the series and frankly, I’m a bit burned out on the character. They were fun and quick projects for me and the folks at Gold Eagle/Harlequin are awesome. They’ve been my favorite publisher to work with thus far and are lightning fast on contracts, payments, and feedback – all of which are awesome for a writer. I hope to do some other stuff with them, so we’ll see…

2. I’ve partnered with a great friend of mine to flesh out a new project that I will cryptically call “HOTW” for now. It will feature a strong female lead in a great setting that should appeal to a huge demographic. We’re pumped about it. It also doesn’t hurt that my friend works with Ridley Scott, which si complete awesomeness in and of itself. More news as it becomes available.

3. This same friend actually brought me on to help write another project with him and this one is about ready to boil. It’s already a comic series (and no, don’t ask because I don’t want to spoil the fun) with a sizeable following and is being actively pursued by several companies as an episodic cartoon series. I’ll be handling the novels and also working on the cartoon itself. It’s great stuff.

4. I’m actively working on SECOND CHANCE (working title) and enjoying getting back into it. I’ve been toying with this book for several years and it’s well past due that I finish the thing and get it out into circulation. It’s a standalone as far as I can tell (although you never know what the future holds) and mixes my usual genre frappe of fun and craziness. I’ll excerpt a few more chapters as December progresses. You can find the prologue a few posts back.

5. We’re slated to start shooting THE FIXER TV series in February. January will be devoted to much planning and finalizing of all sorts of things relating to getting fully up to speed. Needless to say, this has taken us longer than we expected, but it’s going to be a truly awesome project. We should have some more footage to release shortly, so stay tuned to the official website at http://www.thefixer.tv and don’t forget to join the Forums over there as well!

That’s it for now. I’ve got some other stuff to talk about, but will hold off doing so for the time being.

How To Beat The Flu – Part 2

Yesterday, I wrote about my number one weapon in the arsenal of flu and cold beaters: the neti pot. But like any battle, relying on just one weapon or technique would be foolish. Winning a struggle is the combination of several tactical maneuvers applied with maximum effect such that it becomes a viable strategy for success. So, in order to beat the flu, you need a few more tools.

Today, we’re going to look at sleep.

I’ve always found it fascinating that we enter the peak season of germs and sickness when the weather gets cold and the days get shorter. Yet, while the rest of the natural world senses a slow-down, as humans, we’re supposed to keep up the same frenetic level of activity as we go about our daily struggle to survive and prosper.

Many animals hibernate or at the very least reduce their awake hours drastically. This is obviously a means of survival for them, but it’s also interesting from our perspective.

How much sleep did you get yesterday? The general consensus ranges on what constitutes an optimal amount of sleep from 7-9 hours per night. This amount supposedly enables the body to rest and recuperate from the strain of the previous day, repairing the shattered cells that limp through our bloodstreams and preparing us for the next period of being awake.

But is this amount realistic? In our modern world, many people tend to get far less sleep. And many will only bank six hours per night, leaving them at least sixty minutes shy of what the health experts recommend. The result is usually obvious, especially when many people tend to get drowsier in the winter months. Those yawns and sighs and stretches are key signals that your body needs more rest. And if you deprive it long enough, your weakened body will be susceptible to attack.

Think about it this way: your body is your fortress and your immune system is the guard standing along the ramparts. Keep the same guy out there for eighteen hours and you will have one ineffective guard. Get him off of the wall and rested and he’ll be more alert and able to fend off the invaders.

Now, trying to secure a slot of time between 7-9 hours isn’t always feasible or realistic. I count myself lucky indeed if I can get a 7-hour slot of sleep. So you need alternatives.

Like a nap.

Naps don’t have to be long to get the benefit they offer. Often, just resting your eyes and “dipping” into that less-awake/semi-asleep pattern for even fifteen minutes will give you an added boost while helping your body stay healthy. In the service, we called them “combat naps” or “cat naps” and if we could grab them in the midst of a brief respite in our tasks, we were incredibly grateful for them. The effects are astounding, especially since you’re not fully asleep. Being able to tap into that state is incredibly valuable.

So, if you work in an office or a cubicle and don’t have the luxury of stretching out on a bed, how do you grab one? If you’ve got an office, simply shut the door and set your cellphone alarm for a quick fifteen minute nap during lunch. If you’ve got a cubicle, see if you can borrow a conference room. (I haven’t worked in an office in a long time, so I’m not sure what the possibilities are.)

Once you train your body to steal a few minutes here and there, you’ll be amazed at where you can do it. Now obviously, given my interest in self-protection, I don’t recommend doing this out in public where you need to stay aware. But it is possible to get extra rest throughout the day. And you should.

Personally, I think that humans have a hibernation instinct as well. Like many other instincts we used to have, the grind of modern society has dulled them until we’ve almost forgotten they exist. Hibernation is simply another tool of our personal survival, like being able to sense the presence of danger.

In the event you get sick, sleep is one of the most potent things you can do for your body. Give it an abundance of rest so it can divert its resources away from the stress of your usual daily activity to fighting off the infection. By enabling your system to concentrate its forces on the site of attack instead of spreading itself thin, your chances of success are that much greater.

Make sure, as well, that you’re properly situated when you do go to bed. Lie flat, not propped up (if possible – if you’re suffering from sinus congestion, lying flat isn’t always an option) so your body is leveled out and your heart doesn’t have to work as hard to pump blood everywhere. Get under the covers, even if you’re a little warm at first. Your body temperature normally comes down a few degrees when you sleep and you will get cooler.

Turn the TV off! The last thing your body and subconscious need is to have television shows and commercials playing in the background reminding it of what you’re trying to give it a rest from. The goal is to put yourself into an altered state, which is what a sleeping pattern is. Take a rest from everything. If you’re the kind of person who needs something audible in order to fall asleep (I like the white noise generated by a small fan) then opt for a soothing bit of music that you can program to loop. But turn the volume down low.

The key to obtaining deep levels of recuperative sleep is to almost put yourself into a sensory deprivation experience. It’s no coincidence that we naturally close our eyes and remove our most relied upon sensory input while we rest. Nor is it unusual that we generally breathe deeply through our nose and take our mouth with its ability to taste offline as well. We don’t normally paw about the bed, either. That’s three of the five down. Three less inputs demanding attention from our neurological system. Think about how much “power” that saves.

Special forces units in the former Soviet Union used to all go to sleep in the same way: tongue on the roof of the mouth behind the upper teeth, eyes closed and rolled up, and lying on their backs with their hands either clasped over their stomachs or at their sides. This was found to put their bodies into deeper rest quicker than by any other means.

It might well be worth studying your own sleep habits to determine how you best fall asleep. I always start on my back and then just before I drift off into deeper sleep, switch to sleeping on my side since it means I’m less likely to snore and make noise. But that’s just me.

Sleep is vital to life. And it’s vital to your battle against sickness. Take some extra time and reap the benefits of being non-awake. Your body will thank you.

How To Beat The Flu

It’s flu season and that means the timeless battle between staying healthy and feeling like crap has once more reared its head. The pharmaceutical companies trot out the usual array of medicines that treat the symptoms or the shots that address last year’s various strains. But there’s little that can be done to stave off the influenza virus. Right?


Last year I had a horrible sinus infection that lasted about two months. I went early on to the doctor and, of course, got a prescription for antibiotics, which didn’t work. I was miserable. My sinuses were a wreck and this virus then spread to my upper respiratory system. I hacked up a rainbow of mucus and wondered how the hell I was going to get rid of this particular infection.

In late October, my brother-in-law’s mother, Fran, saw me at a family event where I was my (by then) usual “bag of shite” (as my friends across the pond like to say). She mentioned her own battles with sinus infections and then told me about a little thing that had made all the difference in the world. And I’m going to share it with you today.

It’s called a neti pot.

Now, before you start rolling your eyes, hear me out. I don’t consider myself any type of yogi. I’m most assuredly not a vegetarian, macrobiotic, or overly New Age. And as a result of my background, I tend to come from the “try-it-and-if-it-works-once-keep-trying-until-we-can-trust-it” school of thought. But I also know that the simplest solutions are also sometimes the best.

I went to my local CVS and found a little box called “Sinu Cleanse” over on the cold/flu aisle and picked it up. Inside was a small neti pot, which resembles a tea pot of sorts. It also came with a plastic spoon and twenty packets of salt. I think it cost about ten bucks.

Back at home, I opened it up and set about reading the directions. The idea being that you fill the pot with warm water, mix in one packet of salt, and then insert the tip of the neti pot into one nostril, tilt forward until the water flows up your nasal passage and then flows out of the other back into the sink. The idea is that the salt water cleanses the passages and removes all the gunk inside.

Why is this important? Growing up, my father told me that the three main ways you get sick are through the eyes, the nose and the mouth. People tend to rub their eyes and transfer infection into the tear ducts. The air we breathe is also rife with germs and most of those get lodged into the nose, which uses hairs to trap larger particles. But the smaller ones find a nice warm, moist home in the mucus lining of your nasal passages.

The neti cleans house. Literally.

Not only does it clean the passages, but it also makes that mucus lining inhospitable to germs seeking to set up shop there and then invade the rest of your body.

Within a day of using the neti pot last year, I was finally on the mend. It took a little bit of continued effort to dislodge the infection (the old Napoleonic theory was that it took three invaders to dislodge one dug-in defender) but it finally yielded. And I was convinced.

I have continued using the neti pot over the last year. As a result, any colds or bugs have not been able to take root in my body for long. As soon as I start feeling like something’s coming on, it’s straight to the neti pot and then I follow that up with about three more sessions over the course of the day. (It’s safe enough to do up to four times per day without damaging your sinuses). And that is usually enough to knock whatever germs I’ve gotten out.

As I said, I’m not preaching out of some New Age philosophy here. The medical community has actually embraced sinus flushing as a viable means of staying well. And I can tell you that it works. I intend to steer clear of flu shots and I haven’t taken any over-the-counter medicines since last year because I haven’t needed to.

Please note that there are also types of saline inhalers that you can buy that you stick up your nostril, pump some saline up and then that’s supposed to be it. I don’t like those because they don’t provide a constant flow of water over the passages. Stick with the neti pot. When you run out of salt packets, use kosher or sea salt.

It takes some time and practice to get it down to where it works for you. I’ve had to adjust the amount of salt I use because I overloaded one time and it stung like hell. But I tell you, this thing works. I’m amazed at it, but it makes perfect sense.

When I went through survival training, the instructors always harped about hydration. In the field, when you urinate, it should be clear and not stink. If it’s dark and smelly, you’re dehydrated. I view the mucus in the same way. If you blow your nose and see a Skittles package on the tissue, you’ve got some gunk that needs cleaning. The mucus should be as clear as possible.

I don’t neti everyday, but this time of year I increase the frequency. You’ll find it comes in handy at other times as well. Doing yard work with the lawn mower, leaf blower, etc. you’ll come in and have a ton of crap up there from breathing in dust. People suffering from allergies have also reported amazing benefits from using a neti.

If you hate taking medications and feeling like hell during the winter months, I can’t recommend this enough. And believe me: I hated getting water up my nose as a kid. But I’ve learned to relax and let the neti process clean out the toxins. It’s fantastic stuff. And for ten bucks, you can’t beat it in these economic times.

Of course, you can also buy high-end neti pots made from fancy ceramics and whatnot, but why bother when a simple plastic pot does the job quite well? I know a lot of you might grimace and frown and roll your eyes and say, “jeez, that’s gross, Jon” because I was the same way.

Then I tried it.

It works, people. It really does. So if you’re tired of suffering through cold and flu season, check it out. I hope it does for you what it has done for me.