Dear General Electric

Dear General Electric,

Earlier today I had an MRI to check out a section of my intestinal tract. That necessitated me being placed into one of your lovely machines for nearly an hour. Thanks to the search-and-rescue training I’ve gone through in the past, I don’t suffer from claustrophobia – which meant that instead of freaking out being enclosed in that tiny tube, I had ample time to make some observations on ways you can improve your product.

1. Get a better soundtrack: while a certain demographic of folks may indeed find the roar of Atlas 5 rocket engines soothing and akin to the lapping of waves on a tropical shore, the majority of us do not. Given all the amazing technology we have available in this country, is it really absolutely necessary for your machine to sound like the backside of an Imperial star cruiser? The choice of sounds for the various imaging going on seems like a buffet of panic-inducing samples from a nonstop slasher movie fest. Wouldn’t a calmer patient bring about better results? Or are you actively trying to have people freak out while in the confines of your machines? How about a nice series of wind chime sounds? Maybe some bells? You could make it like the old department store elevatorswhere the woman with the nice voice used to tell you what floor you were on: “Ding, ding…now examining…your large bowel.” Oh, and your soundtrack featuring the woman who told me about a thousand times to “breathe in, breathe out, hold your breath, relax” today needs to be recorded better and the volume increased so she can be heard over the firing of the ion pulse cannon and the rabid dwarves hammering somewhere down near where my feet were. Just sayin’…

2. Cushions: Look, I’m still fairly spry at 42 years old, but a lot of the patients who use those MRI machines are infirm, elderly, and frankly pretty frail. The old Chinese woman who shuffled in for an exam today looked like she’d break apart in a slight breeze. With that said, the “death tray” (as I like to call it) is about as comfortable as lying on nails. For the entirety of my exam today, I had to have my arms back behind my head resting on a thin lip of hard plastic that only exacerbated the pins-and-needles numbness in my arms during the procedure. Again, these machines have to cost what – $5 gazillion bucks or something? How about springing for a few dollars worth of cushion and padding to make your patients more comfortable? And maybe offer patients the option of getting a back massage while they’re at it using those wooden roller seat covers like the cabbies in New York use. Oh, and lose the air conditioning – I was freezing in there today. Maybe put a nice heating pad in there to help with the relaxation.

3. Appearance: As much as I’ve always dreamed about inserting myself in the afterburner of an F-15, the imposing sight of your machine does little to make people feel at ease. How about painting a giant smiling face around the opening? Maybe invite the local 5th graders over to paint daisies and birds all over the entrance to the tube? Or make it look like what it is: a giant eyeball that will see right through you. Break out the mascara and get some eyelashes on that thing. That would be totally cool. Also, lose the dull cream color. I just drank that Barium Sulfate crap and don’t need to be reminded of how it looked. Get some of the guys from the local chop shop to come over and put some flames on that thing. Maybe a nice neon green or metallic blue. With racing stripes.

Look, I get it: your machine is incredible and it does indeed save lives. For that, I’m extremely grateful. But instead of only focusing on the machine, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to focus on the patient, too. After all, most people using your MRI machines are there for some potentially serious stuff and they’re already worried enough. Anything you can do on your part to lessen their worry, insecurity, and fear at being rolled down the vanilla throat of Gangor the Magno Monster would no doubt be incredibly appreciated.

Hugz,
Jon

Coming Soon…

With March drawing to a close, I thought it would be a good time to update you all on what will be coming out for the rest of the year, what I’m working on, and assorted tidbits like that. So here goes…

Current Works-in-Progress

  1. Mission: Malta – this special novella for newsletter subscribers is running each month, but I’m going to be finishing it shortly and putting it out for sale so those fans who want to read ahead can do so. It will still be free to newsletter subscribers, but if the chapter-per-month thing is too slow, you’ll be able to grab it ahead of time.
  2. CODENAME: Belladonna – Talya’s first spin-off novel from the Lawson series. Hoping to have this finished sooner than you think 😉
  3. Shadow Warrior: The Undead Hordes of Kan-Gul – this is the first book in the alternative Earth sword & sorcery series I’m writing for Baen Books. The first book is due to my editor by June for a Spring 2013 debut in bookstores everywhere.
  4. The Next Lawson Novel – yep, it’s in the works. And no, I’m not revealing the title yet because I want to surprise all of you. Because, y’know, I’m a devious tease…
  5. Lawson: Ten Year Retrospective – a special ebook of the past ten years of Lawson Awesome.
  6. YA Series Proposal – Lots of research going into this, so stay tuned.
  7. Adult Thriller Series Proposal – no supernatural craziness in this one. Just straight up violence, mayhem, and assorted chaos.

With that list in mind, be on the look out for new releases from me around the following months:

May 2012
July 2012
October 2012
December 2012
January 2013

And maybe one or two extra surprises…I know, a lot of teasing here, but good things are definitely ahead. So stay tuned and alert to my Facebook Fan Page for all the latest. And be sure you sign up for my FREE newsletter to get even more tidbits.

In The Footsteps of The Past

Yesterday, the family and I went for a hike at the Nobscot Boy Scout Reservation in Sudbury, Massachusetts. For those who have been reading this blog for a while, you know this is the site of the annual New England Warrior Camp put on my friend Ken Savage, who runs his own dojo the Winchendon Martial Arts Center and is the senior student of my teacher, Mark Davis of the Boston Martial Arts Center. Every year for the past fourteen years, Ken has put on the camp and invited instructors from all over to come and present a teaching segment – sometimes based around a theme, sometimes not. Over the years, thousands of people have come to this 3-day event, held each Autumn, and “explored, challenged, and developed their warrior spirit.”

It’s always a fantastic event and ken and his staff do an utterly amazing job of making sure that the Camp runs smoothly. For most folks, the visit to Nobscot is a once-a-year event, but I like visiting the camp at other times of the year for the specific purpose of walking in the past.

For fourteen years, the Camp has been a fixture in my life; an event where I get to have scores of experiences, lessons, and opportunities. Fourteen years ago, I’d only been studying the art for about seven years and had only just earned my first degree black belt during a trip to Japan in 1997 with Ken and Mark. Back then, I didn’t teach at the Camp – I was simply another camp-goer eager to participate in whatever segments were available. The Camp – as created by Ken – delivered countless adventures that have a cherished place in my memories.

But as is so often the case with life, our focus is often only forward-looking. What’s coming down the road? What’s happening around us at any given time? What are our goals for the day, the next week, or the next year. And I’m fond of saying that once something is in the past, it’s no use residing there any longer because it can no longer be changed.

As much as I myself like to keep driving ahead, there is great value in walking in the past – if only for a few hours. And by walking the paths of the Nobscot Reservation, it gives me the opportunity to remember precious lessons that time may have obscured or rendered less potent. As I walked with my family, I passed the Fire Trail where my good friend Rich Borgatti earned his black belt by belly-crawling up the side of a mountain and then having to endure a particularly grueling series of attacks. But you can read Rich’s full account of that night here, because for me to attempt to replicate it from my perspective as his senior would be unjust.

We walked past the Chippanyonk Fire Circle, where on Friday and Saturday nights, the instructors field questions from camp goers on the essence of warriorship, walking the path, technical questions from the art, and so much more. The conversations that have taken place there are priceless, and even now, the words of those many nights still linger in the rustling of the trees that lean in over the long cold embers of many fires.

Beyond, we strolled into the Ellis Lands, where most of the teaching segments have taken place. It’s where I’ve taught the majority of my segments alongside my close friend Paul Etherington. It’s where Ken built a long fire walk during one particularly memorable Camp. It’s where we’ve practiced intention exercises while surrounded by the dark forest on all sides.

Every step that I took with my family yesterday brought back another moment – precious fleeting instances from my past riding on the wings of a lesson, an expression, a comment, a smile – and another realization of the legacy I’ve been ever so fortunate to be a part of. As I watched my sons run along the same paths, and their laughter echo through the same trees I’ve come to know so well, I saw glimpses of faces from my past running and laughing as well. Some of those people have chosen to walk another path; others still walk the path with me. But each has had a place in creating the treasure that is my past.

When Ken created the Camp, he’d recently earned his 5th degree black belt and the Grandmaster told those who passed the test that he had just given them a seed. It was up to them what they did with it. They could put it away, and every so often take it out and look at it. Or they could plant it and let it become something truly incredible. Ken selflessly chose to plant the seed and let it blossom into the New England Warrior Camp. For fourteen years, he has labored tirelessly to provide students with the chance to experience aspects of Ninjutsu training that you won’t find in the safe confines of a dojo.

But he’s done so much more than that. What Ken has created with the Camp is a living, breathing piece of history – much the way the art of Ninjutsu is a living, breathing, constantly evolving martial lineage – one that continues to teach long after the actual events have passed.

Yesterday, walking through the woods at Nobscot, I got a chance to relive many of those lessons, to remember the joys of hard training, the chuckle of shared camaraderie, and even the wafting scent of the ghost of Ed the Cook’s Gumbo recipe.

Living in the past is a mistake; but visiting the past every once in a while is a great thing. For me, it helps me appreciate the journey I’m on, the places I’ve been, the kindred spirits I’ve been blessed to walk beside, and the lessons – so many lessons – that I’ve learned in pursuit of some greater ideal. Thanks to Ken Savage and the New England Warrior Camp, I have a place I can visit where walking in the footsteps of the past is not only possible…

…it’s wonderful.

Thank you, Ken.