10 Ways to Make Your 2014 Better Than 2013

So, yes, I know we’re almost a week into the New Year. And yes, I know everyone has pretty much already come out with their suggestions on how to be better. I’m late, what can I say?

Seriously, though, with 2014 firmly locked in, here are my tips for making the most of it. I hope you like them, or at least they give you some ideas to think about.

1. Set Boundaries

There’s a lot of overlap in our lives – a lot more than when I was growing up. Technology has enabled parts of our lives to bleed into other areas. Out to dinner with your family? Your smart phone dings and lets you know there’s a work email waiting to be read. Getting ready to work out? Hang on, I have to check in on Facebook. Look at that! I have to Instagram that joint!

For 2014, try setting up boundaries. When you’re engaged in one activity, give it your full focus. If you’re at work, resist the urge to be distracted by emails, Facebook, Pinterest, or even the latest game app. Likewise, when you’re away from work, don’t work – play! You’ll find your focus improves and you’ll probably get more done. While splitting your attention may be necessary some times, try working on your focus when it’s not.

2. Leave the Drama Behind

We’ve all got people in our lives that we’d rather not have there. Negative Nancys, Passive Aggressive idiots. For 2014, resolve to get those people out of your life. Surround yourself with a better caliber of human beings. A rising tide floats all boats and if you are with positive and fun people, you will naturally find your attitude and outlook improving. Dump anyone who affects you negatively. This may sound harsh, but if you are interested in making your life better than last year, then you’ll need to make some cuts.

This is not to say that you should surround yourself with “yes people” who will tell you anything you want to hear. They’re actually a negative influence as well. You should find a circle of friends who are happy, positive, and accomplished – but who will also call you on your BS if need be. These people get things done and know how to have fun.

And by the way, family doesn’t get special treatment here. If you have family members who are always unsupportive of your dreams and goals, who are always negative, pessimistic, passive aggressive, or who drag you down in any way, consider parting ways with them. I’ve never understood why so many people sacrifice their happiness and put up with idiotic behavior simply because they share blood with someone. If anything, family should be held to even higher standards than your friends.

3. Do One Thing Everyday That Scares You

Eleanor Roosevelt said this and I happen to love it. And no, this does not mean you have to go tightrope walking across the Grand Canyon. It simply means that you find something everyday that challenges you in some fashion. Through continuous challenge we grow and expand our thinking. If you only ever do the same things that feel comfortable to you, you will never grow as a human being and you’ll never appreciate the richness that life has to offer. Get out of your comfort zone and explore the world around you. Try something that the old you would shake your head at.

4. Change The World In 5 Minutes Each Day

I know what you’re thinking, “that’s impossible. You can’t change the world in 5 minutes a day.”

Actually, you can. Right now, I’m doing a fundraising drive for the folks at NO KID HUNGRY, a wonderful charity that provides meals to disadvantaged children in the US. To help raise money, I’m doing 50 burpees every single day in 2014 for my BURPEES FOR BREAKFAST campaign. That works out to 18,250 burpees over the course of the year, but it also only takes me about 5 minutes (sometimes more) to do them. 5 minutes of my day devoted to helping children who don’t get enough to eat. Check out the website for more info and please be sure to donate!

And you know what? You can do something like this yourself! Imagine doing something tangible that will have a real, lasting positive effect on the world at large over the course of 2014. When you break it down into a manageable bit of time, like 5 minutes each day, then over the long run, you build up a substantial impact.

And this doesn’t work with just charity; you can set up any goal you have in this fashion. Want to write a book? Devote five minutes each day to writing and watch how fast the words add up. Want to get better at anything? Give yourself five minutes each day to practice and your skill level will improve dramatically.

5. Doodle

Buy yourself a big pad of paper with no lines. Write “2014” on the cover. Open it up to the very first page and draw something.

Anything.

Why do this? We live in a world with rules, laws, and expectations about what our behavior “should” be. The simple act of drawing whatever you want to draw is incredibly liberating. You can go in any direction. You can draw whatever you want. Cartoon away. Sketch out an invention you’ve always wanted to try to build. There are no lines on the paper and there are no limits to what you could draw. Let your mind enjoy this blank canvas and play. It doesn’t matter if you think you have zero artistic ability; it only matters that you free your mind and give it permission to go anywhere.

6. Once Each Day Find Your Hara

Your “hara,” as it’s called in Japanese, is the area about two inches below your belly button. It’s also the place where babies breathe from. As we grow older, many people tend to breathe from their chests rather than their lower abdomen. But the benefits of “belly breathing” are immense. You bring more oxygen into your body this way and better fill your lungs, plus it’s incredibly relaxing. Once each day, practice taking ten deep belly breaths. Do it before you go to sleep and you may drop off sooner than you usually do. Deep belly breathing is also an excellent way to calm down if you find yourself getting tense.

Simply lie on your back, place your hands over your lower abdomen, and take a deep breath in through your nose feeling your hands lift as your abdomen expands. Bring your awareness down to where your hands are. Exhale smoothly through your nose and repeat for at least ten breaths.

7. Help Two People Every Week

Make a conscious effort to help more people this year. It can be as simple as helping them spread the word about a new project they’re working on. You might offer to pick up a friend’s child at daycare.

Why two people? Because it’s pretty easy to help one person each week, but helping two means you actually have to look for the opportunity to help someone, rather than just cruising through knowing that the universe will inevitably throw someone your way who needs a helping hand. Putting effort into finding someone who needs help – no matter how small – means you are being active about helping and doing good, rather than just passively accepting. Two people each week means you’re helping over 100 people throughout the course of the year. That’s some pretty good karma you’re generating!

8. Be A Beacon of Positive Energy

Being negative is easy. It takes very little energy to bitch about life, to complain when things don’t go your way, or even moan about the weather. Resolve to avoid doing those things. There are more than enough people out there complaining and bitching and woe-is-me’ing about life. The universe doesn’t need you joining them.

Instead, focus on the good in your life. Share something inspirational. Compliment someone in your Facebook friends list. Put forth something positive and watch the effects. This isn’t to say you need to become all rainbows and unicorns – let’s be real, here. But by consciously trying to limit the amount of negative energy you put out, you’ll be doing everyone a favor. It’s not easy being positive all the time and it does take a lot of energy, but the rewards are a lot better than just dishing out the bad juju.

9. Exercise

You need to. There’s no excuse for not doing something. You don’t have time? Everyone is busy. You don’t have the money? You don’t need to join a gym. You don’t have the willpower? Connect with friends and make it a group effort.

The simple truth is that exercise will make you feel better in so many ways, it would be impossible to list them all. Is it hard? Sometimes. But the struggle is worth it. Go for a walk. Skip rope. Do push-ups. Crank out some crunches. Think of your body like a car. If you simply leave it in the garage and never drive it anywhere, it will fall apart. The same is true of your body. Get the juices flowing. Get that engine churning. Work the pistons. Soon you’ll have a sports car instead of a broken-down jalopy.

10. Write This Stuff Down

Buy a journal, make a Google doc, video tape, or make an audio recording of all of this stuff. Especially the people you help over the course of 2014. No, you’re not jockeying to win sainthood, but having a concrete reminder of what you’ve done this year next December 31st is going to be rewarding on a number of levels. People and experiences tend to vanish from our memories and if you’re out there doing good, it’s always nice to remember what you’ve done for others – especially if the year doesn’t go quite to plan. Next December, when you’re reflecting on the previous twelve months, pull that journal out and look at everything you’ve done, and everyone you’ve helped. It may make you smile more than once!

Updates from Author Jon F. Merz

Just a quick round-up of things going on in the week ahead:

  1. Next Saturday, October 5th, I will be appearing at the Zombie Walk in Asbury Park, New Jersey. From 10am until whenever, I will be at the Baen Books booth in the parking lot of the Stone Pony. Come on by and say hello. Grab a picture and hang out. More info on the event can be found here.
  2. Baryon Online has a new review of THE UNDEAD HORDES OF KAN-GUL up as of this morning. Barry Hunter, who runs the mag, has been a supporter of my work for a while and I’m pleased to see he enjoyed my latest. Thanks Barry!
  3. I don’t write a lot of horror novels, despite having written a lot of horror short stories when I was starting out as a writer. VICARIOUS is my one “legit” horror novel (although PREY could be called SF horror, I suppose) that I had a blast writing. Every once in a while, though, I get that urge to write something scary. I’ve had an idea percolating for some time now. This morning I started writing chapter one. Given what else is on my plate and commitments for other writing projects, it will probably be about a year before it sees the light of day, but I am looking forward to working on it when time permits. It’s definitely going to be a guilty pleasure, but oh so fun…especially since I’m setting the book in the town I live in.
  4. Last week, I asked my fans and friends to push sales of my latest novel THE UNDEAD HORDES OF KAN-GUL and in exchange, I sent out a 3-chapter excerpt from the forthcoming new Lawson Vampire novel, THE CRUCIBLE. If you missed it, you can check it out here, unedited.
  5. October will see the release of a new installment in my feudal Japan zombie series, ZOMBIE RYU. This has been a long time coming, so make sure you’ve got episode one and episode two already!

Don’t forget, you can grab a print copy of THE UNDEAD HORDES by going here.
You can also get a copy for the Kindle here.
And if you have a Nook, you can get a copy here.
While you’re at it, don’t forget to get caught up on all the Lawson Vampire adventures. THE CRUCIBLE hits before the holidays!

Work on a Weakness

The idea of working on a weakness resonated with me because of my martial arts training. Mark Davis, my teacher at the Boston Martial Arts Center has long advocated that students – especially senior students and those who wish to teach – must actively work on their weak points – what we call “sutemi” – in order to improve ourselves and our skills. Many times, the physical skills that we aren’t necessarily good at are dwarfed by the mental and spiritual weak points that can hobble our progress. Working on a physical skill is relatively easy and only demands that the practitioner be willing to work on it over and over and be comfortable with the idea of being critiqued in order to improve.

Mental and spiritual weak points, however, are much harder to work on and are far more demanding. Ninjutsu has an inherent attrition rate to it; if you aren’t comfortable doing something, you can either adapt and evolve until you do become comfortable (prior to moving on to the next challenge) or you can simply give up, remain stagnant, and then eventually watch your skills deteriorate.

In order to work on mental and spiritual weak points, the practitioner must be willing to face their insecurities, their ego, and a host of other things that routinely sabotage our progress. When we are unable to do so, our minds and our perspectives become narrow; cynicism becomes rampant; and bitter divisive behavior is commonplace. In short, we start to devolve. No one is immune to this; even the brightest stars can fade unless they take corrective measures.

True confidence comes from the ability to face our insecurities and our ego; it stems from a willingness to admit that we aren’t perfect but are simultaneously committed to the ideal of seeking perfection in whatever we do. We know that the path before us won’t be an easy one, but our determination to walk it – fully embracing the challenges ahead and what they reveal about our innermost workings – is unswayed. This confident determination to meet challenges head-on leads to an all-encompassing perspective; a mindfulness of action/response; and a level of happiness unmatched by merely living at where we were yesterday. There is a simple and profound excitement embodied each morning when we rise and wonder what we will face on any given day. How will we be tested? How much will we learn about ourselves and others? How much more appreciative will we be of the life we have when we go to bed each night?

If you want to get better at living your life, you actually have to live your life. Don’t settle for what you did yesterday. Don’t grow complacent with where you were before today. Get out there and seek the challenge of actively embracing who you are as a human being. Set goals, find challenges, and seek the betterment of your mind, body, and spirit. Avoid the narrow confines of “why bother?”

If we fail to address our own weak points as a means of evolving, we are only isolating ourselves in a self-imposed prison with four little walls and a limited view. Break out and embrace the joy of living an unbridled existence full of challenge and reward.

Sears: Total FAILURE – Part 2

Back at the end of October, I wrote a blog post detailing the absolute unmitigated FAILURE of Sears to make good on its delivery of three appliances to my home. While blasting this around Twitter and other social media networks, I heard back from the folks apparently manning the “SearsCares” Twitter account who repeatedly assured me they would have the case manager make it right.

Eventually, I did indeed speak with a new case manager named Eric, who was professional and polite and we eventually reached an agreement regarding fair compensation for the failure of the company to make good on its promises. I would be refunded a certain amount and the refund would be put back on the card I’d used to make the purchases initially. There was one hiccup in this – the credit card I used to buy the appliances was compromised and I had to get a new one issued to me. A few more days of wrangling ensued mostly because Sears’ policy is to only refund the card that was used. However, to their credit, they agreed to refund the amount to my new card. At this point, we’re now approaching Thanksgiving and I was assured by Eric that the refunds would go through within days of the holiday. Sears would process one refund a day (again, this is apparently their policy) and I would therefore get three separate refunds to my card.

That was over three weeks ago and to date, I have not received one single cent of my promised refund. I have emailed repeatedly and again taken to Twitter about how horribly Sears has failed in its consumer relationship with me. Once again, Christine over at “SearsCares” has promised to get a case manager to contact me about it. That was two days ago and STILL I have not gotten a phone call or a refund.

I have tried to be fair throughout this mess. I have tried to give them the benefit of the doubt and been more than patient with them.

No longer.

As of today, I am filing an official complaint with the State Attorney General’s office in Boston, as well as alerting the various members of the media I know personally, and again taking to the social media universe. Because of the total and complete failure that my Sears shopping experience has been, I would urge anyone with money to spend it elsewhere. Sears has proven time and time again that they do not appreciate their consumers, they do not live up to their promises, and they do not care about making things right.

Do NOT give them your business and warn others to steer clear of them as well. If Sears cannot honor its commitments, it does not deserve to be in business.

Please be sure to spread this around as warning to others NOT to make the mistake I made in buying from Sears. Thank you.

Pity Parties

By Jon F. Merz

Ever been to one of these? It’s where something doesn’t go right and someone decides that the universe is against them and gets all “woe-is-me, my life totally sucks.” Usually, this is accompanied by a post on Facebook or Twitter; sometimes, it’s a blog post or a magazine column. Sometimes those posts on Facebook get a bunch of “likes,” or comments expressing sympathy. This is the party aspect of it. Misery loves company, apparently, and pity parties certainly seem to spring up more often than not. (Personally, I think we need more positivity parties…)

I’ve been seeing them happen a lot lately – especially with midlist traditionally published authors. As the indie publishing revolution has made it easier than ever before to become published, a lot of traditionally-published authors who never achieved serious bestseller status are pissed off. They see new unknown writers selling thousands or tens of thousands of ebooks and pocketing the 70% royalty that Amazon offers and they get seriously annoyed. Some of them bitch publicly about it. I read a column recently where the author was upset that one of these newer writers had the gall to state that he had “fun” when he was writing, whereas the column’s author found writing to be a painful and grueling experience. The remainder of the column was very much more a commentary on what a sad life the column author had, rather than what she was doing to make her life better.

Maybe you’ve even thrown a pity party from time-to-time. Things in your own life have been seemingly bad or you haven’t achieved everything you set out to accomplish. You start feeling a sense of hopelessness or maybe experience a crisis of faith. I certainly know – I’ve been there. Around this time last year, I was about to face a whole lot of very potentially serious issues. And in my present life, I still have yet to accomplish some of my larger goals. I understand how easy it is to focus on all the bad stuff and ignore the good that always exists in a life.

But the thing about a pity party is that while they seem to help momentarily, the party should never go on for too long. Otherwise, like any real party, the neighbors get annoyed and call the cops to complain. And then cops show up and shut it down. Meanwhile, you’ve been partying too hard and you still have to get up the next morning and go to work. And when you wake up, your head is pounding and you feel like total garbage.

Likewise, if you allow your pity party to go on for too long, you run the risk of trapping yourself even deeper in the mire of your own doubt. It becomes harder and harder to pull yourself out of the swamp and get back on the path toward kicking all sorts of ass.

I’m not saying that it’s not okay to allow yourself a brief bit of self-pity from time-to-time. A change of perspective can sometimes illuminate a path or tactic that you may not have previously considered. The key, though, is to acknowledge that things aren’t where you want them to be and then actually DO something about it. Instead of wallowing in the swamp and moaning about your predicament, haul yourself out of it and take positive action toward changing your life for the better. The action doesn’t have to be huge; it just has to be action in the right direction.

Each and every step will bring you closer to eventual success. Don’t sabotage your progress by wasting energy on a pity party.

One step. One action. One vision.

By the way, if you haven’t seen the new digital series THE CONTAINED yet, be sure to check it out here – we need your help to make it a reality! Thank you!