life thoughts

 by Jon F. Merz

What Happened to Common Courtesy?

So, this is a message (along with a corresponding friend request) I get earlier today in its entirety on Facebook:

“Someone suggested that I contact you about a book that I am writing. Do you have publishing contacts? I am still finishing the manuscript but wanted to start working on the business side as well.”

That’s it. No “Hi Jon.” No “Please.” No “thank you” (or even “thanks”) No opening greeting, no sense of polite attitude, no sense of gratitude for any help I might be inclined to provide in the future. Nothing. Now, I happen to know this individual, but not anywhere on a level I would equate with that of a close friend (where such an abrupt note might be forgivable). He’s an associate. Thus, the need for common courtesy is even more necessary. But there’s nothing. Just more of an expectation that I would drop everything in my life right now in order to respond to what is basically a note devoid of politeness.

So, what are the odds I’m going to help this individual?

Zilcho.

There’s nothing I hate more than people who can’t even be bothered to use two phrases that should be ingrained in all of us from birth: please & thank you. Further, I’m not going to contribute to what I see as the decline of basic decorum by responding to this. You want my attention? You want my help? Then approach me properly. Mind your manners.

Jeez Louise.

in general / life thoughts 5 comments
 by Jon F. Merz

How I Write – Habit 1

One of the more common questions I (and other) writers get asked quite a lot is how we actually do it. How do we write? What are our habits when it comes to tapping away at the keys in the hopes that our words make sentences and those sentences turn into a story? So, I thought I’d take a moment and share one of the things I do that helps me in my continuing career as an author.

Exercise.

Ever since my father had his first heart attack when I was 16 (he was 41 at the time) I’ve been fairly obsessed with staying fit. Up until I was 16, I was interested in exercise solely for the purpose of attracting girls. But seeing my father have a brush with death instilled a deeper appreciation for my overall health. I don’t necessarily exercise every day, but I’m active every single day. And I’ve set my life up in such a way that it’s rare that I will not do something each day that invigorates the ol’ physical vehicle.

I usually exercise in the morning as I’ve found it’s a great time for me to get a workout in. I used to set aside 60-90 minutes per day to workout, but I don’t do that any longer. Nowadays, thanks to my good friend Rich Borgatti over at Mountain Strength Fitness I’ve become extremely interested in Crossfit. I like the fact that the exercises are all designed for practical strength and cardio fitness. No more heaving weights just for the sake of isolating a small muscle, the Crossfit workout is great at developing a total body approach to fitness, something that neatly ties in with the total body approach to self-protection from the Ninjutsu training I’ve been doing for twenty years. Crossfit is great for me because it is maximum effort in a short space of time, hence the benefit of both resistance training and cardio training packed into one workout. I love it. My schedule doesn’t allow me to join a group right now, although I plan to in the near future. For now, I’m doing it on my own and peppering Rich with any questions I have about technique, theory, etc. (Since Rich is also a student of Ninjutsu, this works great when I see him at the dojo…)

After I’ve cranked out the daily workout, I’ll usually shower and dress, followed by a breakfast high in protein to repair and fuel the body. Once that’s done, it’s time to work. Charged up from the workout and feeling full from a good breakfast, I find the words come very quickly when I sit down to write. With the rest of my body already “activated”, the muse/brainpower want to get in on the action as well and the neurons and synapses and all the other oozy gray matter start percolating and discharging some text. In effect, I’ve taken the same approach to my writing as I do to my fitness and martial arts: total body. Physically, mentally, and spiritually, I’m engaged to deliver the best writing I can.

Now, lest this turn into too much of a soapbox and you think I advocate marathon training as a means of developing good writing, it doesn’t take much to get started with this technique. You could easily take a quick twenty minute walk – even around the house. (This is what I do any time I’m on the phone: I walk laps around my house) The idea is to engage all parts of your person before you sit down to write. So a quick walk, followed by something that activates your mental state, and then you should sit down and see what happens.

Give it a try and let me know if it works for you. Or share some of your own techniques in the comments section below!

One more thing: don’t forget to have fun!

PS: THE FIXER graphic novel is now up for pre-order! I’d appreciate you ordering a copy if you happen to enjoy my Lawson Vampire series!





in comics / graphic novels / how I write / lawson / life thoughts / ninjutsu / novels / short stories / THE FIXER TV series / vampires / writing 6 comments
 by Jon F. Merz

Birth of a Year (Part 2 of 2)

Note: if you haven’t read the first part of this post yet, you can do so by clicking here to read it…

So I’ve let the first half of this essay sit out online for a few days now (despite telling you all that the companion piece would appear within 24 hours) because I wanted those who read it to let it sink in for a while.  I know plenty of people who would read something like what I wrote and then pretend that it didn’t apply to them, because it’s easier to pretend than it is to take responsibility for one’s actions.  That’s the thing about death; it’s easier to give up than it is to stay in the fight, keep swinging despite overwhelming odds, and still keep fighting when Death comes anyway.  Conversely, birth is anything but easy (just ask any woman who has gone though labor and delivery!)

2010 dawns as any new year does: with millions of us vowing to enact new resolutions, new lifestyles, changes to our diet, our careers, our wallets.  With startling regularity, these resolutions fall by the wayside as the days pass and the brightness of the New Year starts to wane as we trundle into February.  Depending on your personal amount of self-discipline, those resolutions may last longer or shorter.

The question for 2010 isn’t what your resolutions are or how many you’re going to make/break.  There’s only one question you have to answer: will 2010 be different?  Will this be the year you steer your personal destiny toward greatness?

Greatness refers to anything you aspire to, any dream you’ve nurtured for years and years, any desire you might covet.  Your definition of greatness is unique.  It’s as individual as you are.  As such, there should be very little actually stopping you from achieving it.  In fact, I’d wager the single biggest obstacle to your achievement of greatness isn’t an external factor, but rather an internal one.

We’ve all got decisions we might regret; actions we took that didn’t pan out as we’d intended, things we wish we’d done.  Those little regrets pile up inside of us; individually they’re small, but together they start to form impenetrable brick walls hindering our forward progression.  How many brick walls do you have inside of you?  Are there truly brick walls outside of you that hinder your progress?  (In fairness, there might be…)

As you start 2010, don’t concentrate on the past (unless it’s to learn from previous mistakes) and the regrets you might have.  You are where you are and there’s no amount of memory regression, thought backpedaling, or therapeutic horse puckey that’s going to change the past, since none of those things enable you to go back in time and change history.  The present is where you are at now.  The future lays before you.  Your past is simply that: already passed.  Honesty gives you the opportunity to understand what you truly want from life.  Courage and discipline are the tools to earn that greatness you aspire to.

“If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.”

Self-help “gurus” are often fond of telling the masses that we can all be great.  What they mean is that we all have the potential to be great.  But most people will not embrace that potential because it’s a hard slog reaching it.  It takes a gut-awful amount of work, blood, sweat, and tears that most people are simply not comfortable enduring.  As such, the real truth is that most people won’t ever find greatness.  At a certain point, they have that realization when they figure out how much work is involved and so instead of greatness, they aspire to mediocrity – that notion of “it’s good enough.”  I’d argue that this is exactly why the United States of America is going to have a serious problem with other countries surpassing us in the future – because the majority of our citizens are lazy schlubs who live by that motto of “good enough.”

I’m not saying this because I hate the US, far from it.  And if you know my background, you know I am very much a patriot.  I say this because there’s an epidemic of mediocrity sweeping this nation.  It’s why people fail to keep their resolutions.  We, as a nation, have made failure a bad word.  When every child makes a sports team or some parent calls up an employer because their recent college graduate failed to secure a job position, there’s a serious problem.  Can you imagine the debacle if every candidate who tried out for Delta Force Selection was granted entry because the Directing Staff didn’t want to hurt their feelings?  Instead of a top-notch special operations unit, we’d have a bunch of idiots entrusted with carrying out the most dangerous national security assignments (and as a result, we’d have a helluva lot of dead operators)  It’s a ridiculous notion, right?  But that’s exactly what we’ve done in most other areas of our society.  Failure is bad, so instead, everyone “wins.”  But winning is exactly what we aren’t doing.  We’re cutting our very legs out from underneath us.

Failure isn’t bad at all.  It’s how we measure ourselves, prove our mettle, and gain the perspective necessary to understand when we’re actually achieving greatness.  Failure’s only bad if you allow it to overwhelm you and cause you to sit in the corner and sulk away the remainder of your life.  The majority of the most successful people in the world have failed countless times.  What distinguishes them from everyone else who failed is that they didn’t give up; they got back up, learned from the failure, and got back into the fight.  They refused to accept the notion that things were “good enough.”  They were honest with themselves, knew what they wanted, and kept going until they achieved that goal.

The birth of 2010 represents an incredible opportunity for all of us.  I know what I’m aiming to achieve this year.  I hope you’ll all take a few hours to analyze what your own goals or dreams are.  Understand the reasons underlying those goals and dreams.  Why do you want them?  (be honest, there’s no “right” answer required – just an honest one.  If you want millions of dollars so you can gloat at your annoying miserly cousin, then embrace that reason as honestly as you can.)  Once you’ve done that, prepare yourself for battle.  Tell yourself you’re not going to settle for “good enough.”  Even if you fail the first time, you’re going to keep fighting until you win.  Honesty, courage, and the discipline to keep going.  One foot in front of the other in front of the other in front of the other…every step you take forward is one step further away from those who have given up and settled for “good enough.”

Dare to be honest.

Dare to be courageous.

Dare to be disciplined.

Dare when others tremble in fear.

Live 2010 like no other year before it.

Happy New Year everyone!

in general / life thoughts / martial arts / self protection / ninjutsu / Uncategorized 4 comments
 by Jon F. Merz

Death of a Year (Part 1 of 2)

Catchy title, eh? 😉

But in all seriousness, I’ve had to deal with a death in the family this week. One of my wife’s aunts passed a few days back and today is her funeral. Death and I aren’t strangers, by any means. And given my background, past, and natural degree of curiosity about such things, I’ve been exposed to it on a regular basis for quite some time. My first up-close encounter with it came when I was just a boy and delivering papers along my route one morning. As I came down the street, I found the body of one of my customers laying on a lawn with a knife literally jutting out of his chest. According to the police, he must have surprised a burglar and they’d simply killed him and dumped his body across the street from his house. It was a jarring, abrupt wake-up call for a young boy who up until that point had only seen death as played out in the pages of comic books or in TV or films. It had a lasting impression on my life.

I was fortunate that early morning that my older sister was with me. Three years my senior, Cheryl and I nevertheless stood there, unsure of what we should do next. It was extremely early and no one else seemed to be awake. Then we heard the sound of metal on metal from somewhere down the street. I could just make out another of my customers outside working on his truck. Cheryl and I ran down yelling for him to come and help us. Breathless, we explained the situation and while he seemed incredulous, he finally relented and followed us back to the dead body. When we arrived, he stood there for a moment, staring at the corpse.

Then, without saying a single word, he simply turned around and walked back to his house as if he had seen nothing.

Death wasn’t the only thing I got exposed to that day.

Cowardice was the other.

Within the space of perhaps thirty minutes, I realized several things. The first was that death is never far. It can come at any time, from any direction, from any source – even when the morning sun spills peacefully across a fresh dewy dawn and all the world seems alive. The second was that most people live in fear and they allow that fear to rule their lives utterly and completely – even when they claim to do exactly the opposite. They live in fear of not doing what society suggests they ought to do; they live in fear of offending others (even when others routinely walk all over them); they live in fear of being seen as an upstart or someone who doesn’t go with the flow; they live in fear of failing if they try something new. They live in fear of death and as a result, they live in fear of life.

Ten years ago, my wife’s aunt suffered a mild heart attack. It was about as mild as you can get with a myocardial infarction. But instead of using that event to propel her on to make changes in her life, or live with more zeal, my wife’s aunt used it as an excuse to give up utterly and completely. Since that time, she chose to lay in bed at her home, insisting she need 24-hour care. She lay in that bed for ten years doing absolutely nothing except collecting bed sores and bed pans. She simply started rotting away. She had ten years of life and she wasted them. How many terminally ill people would hope they had such time? How much living could someone who appreciated life pack into that decade?

Death is with us every day and in every manifestation. How many people do you know who have let their dreams die because they reached a certain age and thought, “well, I’m supposed to have a regular job, a house, two kids, and an ulcer by now”? How many people do you know who let their love of life die because they have become cheap, miserly souls who can only talk about how much money they save or how many coupons they cut or how little they spend on Christmas presents? How many people do you know whose souls die a little more each day because they lack the courage to try to attain something more than “good enough?” Mediocrity, excuses, cowardice, a lack of accountability, negativity, and an inability to be honest are all aspects of death that we see every day and in many of the very people we surround ourselves with.

So the question is: which person are you? Are you already dying inside? Have you given up? Have you settled? Have you forgotten how to live? Have you forgotten that money is just that, and that clinging to it like a life preserver only deprives you of enjoying life or seeing the joy on someone else’s face when you deliver a great gift unto them? Have you forgotten the family you once swore unyielding loyalty to? Have you forgotten those who have always had your back, helped you, or supported you when things were tough? Have you forgotten yourself – your true self – because now you have a mate and their identity has overcome your own? Have you shed dreams? Have you wrapped yourself in a cloak of negativity and cynicism, forever cutting down new ideas and innovation? Have you cast aspersions on those who continue to live? Do you derive humor and pleasure from spotlighting the misery of others?

We’ll talk some more tomorrow…and don’t worry, things get more pleasant from here! 🙂

Side note: The Madagascar Matter, a new serialized Lawson Vampire adventure, debuts in the first week of the new year and delivers a chapter each week over the course of 2010. It’s by subscription only, however, which means you’ll have to sign up in order to travel back in time with Lawson and his former mentor Zero to the early 1980s in Africa. You can do so by clicking the order form below:

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in general / life thoughts / ninjutsu / Uncategorized 4 comments